We’ve been in our little mountain retreat since May, and we came here with the intent to find peace after the chaos of last year. I kept to my regular routine and pace of working, wrangling the kids, and watching a ton of tv. Despite having escaped our pandemic life, I still found myself anxious about work, and the desire to have a joyful Summer and to find the long sought-after peace and healing felt like a big to-do. I may have changed my scenery, but I had not changed my mindset.

So I took some time off. And not intentionally, mind you. I had just pushed myself to the point of losing all motivation and desire. But in this breakdown, I had begun to understand what I was missing. 

Back in June, I had a one on one critique with Richard Haines, fashion illustrator extraordinaire. In our thirty-minute chat, the one thing Richard kept reiterating was that I needed to loosen up and have fun. Each illustration that Richard critiqued, he could differentiate when I was thinking too much and when I was enjoying the process. I received that same message again when my family recently watched Space Jam: A New Legacy, and Dom had to remind his dad, LeBron James, that basketball can be fun. I’m starting to sense that this may be a theme I need to dig deep into. I got caught up in a culture of perfectionism. And however favorable I am of a short work week, it's tough to make the shift and I was still doing the 40-plus hour work grind. Doing so has eliminated joy out of the everyday things I do (yes, you can find joy in the mundane) to the things that I love to my very core, like drawing. 

During my quiet time this morning, I watched a video on the history of wabi-sabi, a Japanese philosophy that powerfully complements Richard’s advice. I was first introduced to the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi (don’t hate me when I admit this) via manicure inspirations on Pinterest. This mismatched nail polish trend doesn't at all live up to the wabi-sabi philosophy because having each nail a different color is acceptable when the manicure is fresh, but once it chips, we go running back to the salon to fix our “imperfect” mani. Imagine the person whose struggle is to not stress about each fingernail being a different color! Oof! Wabi-Sabi is about embracing imperfection and the beautiful transformation that we and all things undergo through time. What I gleaned from Richard’s critique is that you can find joy when you stop expecting perfection. I may be waxing a bit too philosophically from the simple advice of “loosen up and have fun,” but this revelation is a big deal for me!

I’m the kind of person who just wants to arrive at greatness because it can be difficult as hell to do the practice that gets you there especially when you have littles and all you want to do with your free time is to relax. Richard was very understanding of my situation and that alone calmed the “only produce good art cause you don’t have time to waste” survival mode I had been living. I’ve tried to convince myself that I’m the kind of artist that doesn’t need that much practice, but that was because I thought I needed to live a life of hustle and this was the only way to do it. Let’s take a moment to laugh about that and to also weep cause the anxiety of having to keep up is such a struggle! So yes, this simple advice was revelatory and I’ve let it seep into many aspects of my life. In doing so, I have found that I am able to enjoy the sometimes mundane and sometimes imperfect process of many things like doing the dishes and illustrating.

This season, we’re going to be present and find joy, including by embracing imperfection. I’m exploring how to find joy in the everyday and mundane, how I’m bringing joy back in my creativity, in being alone (even when you can’t be alone), and in the arduous journey of healing. Summer should be about fun and rest, and whatever your Summer plans are, I hope you allow yourself that. And try not to be so perfect about it!

Xoxo,

Victoria-Riza

I’m wearing a 3.1 Phillip Lim dress rented from The Fixx Collective, Nisolo Paloma Open Toe Mule, the Aubree Chocker from Siizu, and a Gigi Pip Gwen Wide Brim Sun Hat. Shop Gigi Pip hats here with code SEATOSEA for 10% until 7/31. The Riza Magazine is a Gigi Pip affiliate and receives commissions from sales. Thank you for your support.