The Tea that Rippled the World
What do you think about that title? Any guesses on what this post is about from the title alone? I’ll give you a hint. My favorite Instagram comment about this “highly anticipated tell all” interview is: She didn’t spill the tea. She threw the whole East Indian Company’s port into the ocean.
It’s been a week since Meghan and Harry’s interview with Oprah aired and it’s still a hot topic. I was talking to my sister last night, when I wanted to change our conversation from our sister reunion (cause we’re all getting our second vaccine dose soon! woot woot!) to talk about Meghan and Harry’s interview. I started off with, “Girl, I know you don’t care about the Royals, but…” She cut me off, “I do care!” I’m going to throw some shade, but that girl has never cared and she and the rest of my sisters have always teased me for how lame I am that I cared about this very privileged white family. My sister got caught up in the press drama and now she cared, “It’s wrong what happened to Meghan!” I told her I was writing this commentary and she is very excited to have it as a guide when she watches it tonight.
Here are my takeaways from Megan and Harry’s interview with Oprah.
1.It wasn’t a confrontation, and I actually don’t think it’s fair to her to get into the details of that, because she apologised. . .And I’ve forgiven her.
This is just one of many comments that disputes the notion that the Oprah interview was disrespectful. Perhaps the reason for the many negative comments about this interview is because we still live in medieval times where saying anything about the very private Royal Family is considered treason! This statement, and several others made by the couple, could not have been more respectful. I understand there being concerns of this “tell-all” interview as the Royal Family has such a fear of the press. Understandably so, especially for Diana’s boys who dealt with the press as children. In the documentary, Diana, Our Mother: Her Life and Legacy, William says of the difficulty with the press:
“you never let them in too far because it’s very difficult to get them back out again...you got to maintain a barrier and a boundary because if you cross it, if both sides cross it, a lot of pain and problems can come from it.
Sure enough, this interview opened those doors for people and the press to make all the assumptions and accusations both about the Royal Family and about Meghan and Harry. So who holds accountability for the disrespect? Meghan and Harry for telling the truth? Or the Royal family who, as Meghan shared, “were willing to lie to protect other members of the family, but they weren’t willing to tell the truth to protect me and my husband”? Or perhaps it lies with us because we voraciously consume the tabloid-made scandals?
2. We have in tandem the conversations, “he’s not going to be given security,” “he’s not going to be given a title,” and also concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he’s born.”
There is a particular kind of racism that people of color who have multiracial children face. It’s the kind where people highlight your differences in order to place you and/or your children in a white centric society: Are you black or white? What are you? Why do your parents look like that? These questions can often be damaging to one’s identity. Anthem was only one when a child tried to make sense of why his mom was brown and his dad was white. That child’s question was met with the mother turning him away from me and Anthem instead of having a conversation with us. This gesture suggested to me and to her son that questions about people’s skin color is not okay, therefore their skin color is not okay. Meghan’s revelation not only shows the stigma that still surrounds black skin, but also points out the ethnic identity struggle biracial or multiracial people face.
3. I was ashamed to say it at the time...but I knew that if I didn’t say, I would do it. And I just didn’t want to be alive anymore. I share this because there are so many people who are afraid to voice that they need help. And I know personally how hard it is to not just voice it, but when you voice it and then to be told no.
This story hits home for me. I lost a family member to suicide because they were told no when they sought help. Meghan sharing this very personal and vulnerable story showed us the courage of those who ask for help. Yet, despite the growing awareness of mental health and access to help, Meghan brought to light the hurdles many people face to actually getting the help they need. What can we do to ensure that no is never a response? I hope that mine and Meghan’s voice can be enough to show that these are not isolated incidents and that we must make a change to ensure that those who seek help are never told no.
4. I think she saw this coming. I certainly felt her presence throughout this whole process.
When you’ve watched numerous Diana documentaries where she talks about the change she’s making for her boys’ future and then Harry says this! Cue the momma tears! I’m also going to leave this comment from Prince William because it speaks to how Harry’s inheritance from his mom truly set them up to be able to start their own life. As a mom and a woman it’s incredible to see what Diana did come to fruition! It is a testament that our action do in fact make a difference!
She set us up really well. She gave us the right tools and prepared us well for life in the best way she could. Not obviously knowing what was going to happen. - HRH Prince William, Diana, Our Mother: Her Life and Legacy
5. What I was seeing was history repeating itself...I asked for calm from the tabloids, once as a boyfriend, once as a husband and once as a father...by that point I needed to take matters into my own hands...to do something for my own mental health, for my wife’s, and for Archie’s, as well because I could see where this was headed.
White husbands, protect your brown wives! And believe them! Support falls flat when listening to their concerns of racism bring no action. I felt immense pride for Harry for stepping up because I’ve witnessed too many times when women of color were belittled by their white families and their husbands, sometimes the perpetrators of the racist comments, stand idly by. This can result in a woman of color assimilating to the point where she gives up her culture completely to prevent future racist comments (sometimes perceived to be harmless teasing) to, as we learned from Meghan’s story, isolation and suicidal thoughts. So I’ll say it again, if you’re white and you have brown or black folks in your family (adopted, married into, close friends), protect them!
What did you think about Meghan and Harry’s interview? Did you watch it? Will you watch it? Share your thoughts below!
For more insight on Meghan and Harry’s interview here is Michelle Obama’s thoughts on the subject with Jenna Bush Hager on Today. If you want some real insights from a expat Brit, and our favorite Brit, here’s John Oliver on The Tonight Show.
