A 21st Century Woman
A lot has happened this month. A lot has happened in the last year. So much so that the change in my life is so recognizable that it's crazy to think it all happened in 365 days. Around this time last year, I watched 20th Century Women. I watched this movie just before our country would erupt into fire and protest, before anyone was aware of the growing hate-crimes against the Asian-American community, and before a highly anticipated week-long election day that would give us our first woman and black and Asian Vice-President. I reflect on what I've been through, the refiner’s fire that changed me so fiercely that I wonder if people who knew me before the pandemic would recognize me today.
What I’m Wearing: Binky&Lulu Small C-Hoop in Shrimp, RealHer Matte Lipstick, Thrifted Caribou Shirt, and Wide-legged trousers from Oak + Fort
Coincidentally, the urge to watch this movie again fell on the year anniversary of the lock down. This movie seems to act as bookends to a period of my life that was so tumultuous and jarring. By watching it a second time, I feel a sort of confirmation that this is where I’m supposed to be, on the edge of a culture and social shift. Sophie Gilbert's January 2017 Atlantic review, 20th Century Women Is an Ode to Female Resilience, gave me more insights into the characters and a better understanding of why I connected to the movie so much.
Jamie describes characters as the camera glances through the detritus of their lives: Dorothea’s Birkenstocks and Salem cigarettes, Abbie’s birth-control pills and tattered red shoes, Julie’s Judy Blume novels and teen-therapy sessions. This approach adds depth to the characters that often bests simple description.
I watched this movie again, paying attention to those details, the things and the clothes of each character (by the way, if you love costume design, here’s what costume designer Jennifer Johnson had to say about the clothes for 20th Century Women) and it left me contemplating what objects in my life speak to my character and to my resilience. Here’s 3 things that speak to my character.
American Idiot:
I grew up during George W. Bush’s presidency. I remember when the Dixie Chicks criticized Bush. I thought that was awful. Then everyone criticized the Dixie Chicks and burned their albums. I thought that was awful. Green Day’s American Idiot started me on this journey to understanding the complexities of being an American. To this day, I will listen to Jesus of Suburbia or Are We the Waiting if I’m in a “protest and resist” kind of mood. I was only fourteen and “owned” a burnt copy of the album. I listened to it constantly, even falling asleep to Jesus of Suburbia on repeat. I’m pretty sure this was the inception of my “always question everything”personality!
The Alchemist:
The Alchemist was a book given to me for Christmas by an ex-boyfriend. That very same book would spark the most boring conversation between me and my now husband. Boys aside, this book made seventeen year old me believe that I had a purpose and that my dreams were attainable. I only read it once but the line, “when you really want something, the universe always conspires in your favor,” stuck with me. Now I’m living in a time where people speak of manifesting what they want to the universe! A PC way of publicly praying.
A Polaroid Camera:
I have a Polaroid 600 camera that I’ve had since high school. A friend had gifted it to me. It wasn’t my birthday and it wasn’t Christmas. She bought it from Goodwill and thought that I would enjoy it. This describes me and my friends and the time we grew up in so perfectly -- thrifting and nostalgia. I used that camera whenever I could afford film. I spent what I should’ve on buying gas on buying polaroid film at Walmart. Remember when you could buy polaroid film at Walmart?! Every pack of instant film I bought was a dollar more expensive. Remember when a pack of Polaroid instant film was only $10? I documented the things I did with my friends: photographing my friends in art class, pasting the photos in a notebook and writing some lyrical sentiment about that day. Now here I am, after all those years, essentially recreating my artsy fartsy journal into what is now The Riza.
Trying my best at Greta Gerwig’s dance moves, but it’s a fail with all that finger pointing!
These are all objects of a girl who grew up in the 2000’s. A girl who thought that she knew enough to get by. A girl who finds herself at 31 with a husband and two kids, finally feeling like she’s coming into womanhood. As I scoured through my sentimental things for this post, I wondered what objects from this very moment will bring me back to this turn of the decade. How will those objects make me feel? Will those objects resurface feelings of dread and hurt or will they remind me of my resilience? I think of this and I’m hopeful that when I look back at this time, I will feel a sense of pride and relief that I survived.
What historical events shaped you to be the woman you are today and what objects symbolize your resilience?
What I’m Wearing: Binky&Lulu Small C-Hoop in Shrimp, RealHer Matte Lipstick, Thrifted Caribou Shirt, Wide-legged trousers from Oak + Fort, H&M Loafers, and Belt from Nisolo.
